Well folks, it’s time to get this story rolling again. It’s been a rough spell here in Dementiaville. Not so much that Marv is having more issues than expected, just that my own capacity for dealing with things has not allowed me to share my feelings or experiences in this past year. Why is that? I don’t have an answer but it feels like I may have traveled through the dark tunnel and emerged into a better place for sharing and hoping to help someone else who might be traveling this road behind us.
I know that more and more people are coming in contact with people who suffer with dementia. I hear it everyday and each time I take Marv out to do the everyday errands we all take for granted as being normal activities. I’m grateful each time we encounter people who are patient and sympathetic to our situation. One young man got down on his knees at a restaurant to be able to look Marv in the face and talk to him, not condescendingly, but with genuine empathy. Remembering still brings tears to my eyes at this kindness. Perhaps there is hope for us as humans.
I took Marv to get a haircut. First I asked the caregiver gal on duty if he had a bowel movement yet today. Can you imagine? Do you have to think if you have had a bowel movement yet today before you can think about going to get a haircut? One doesn’t want to be caught not knowing where the nearest bathroom is when those tell-tale signs of agitation start. Yesterday reminded me that we have to be on our toes at all times with our loved ones that are not in control of all functions all the time.
I had taken Marv for a short trip to Wal-Mart after lunch to get some air and look for a few items he needed. A twenty-minute trip at the most. As we were leaving the store the agitation started and I knew we were in trouble. After getting him to relinquish the shopping cart and get in the car for the five minute ride back to the house I was dreading the visit to the bathroom. But, lo and behold, we made it in time, just barely in time and this was a moment of celebration and high fives for myself and the gal on duty. We were all so pleased, including Mr. Marv. I had to think how things have changed. How is it that the triumphant arrival at the toilet before it’s too late has become such a joyous moment for celebration?
I’m pleased at this point to be able to find such great pleasure in the adventures and especially, the small victories.
Thanks Julie. That was the best morning wake up I could have had on such a gloomy day.
I can totally relate. Totally. It IS worth celebrating. For everyone’s sake. I hardly ever take my mom out anymore, but her toilet needs are among my main concerns when I do. Not long ago, she had removed her diaper but it was still dragging along in her pants. Thankfully, it was only wet. She is iffy about hygiene activities, but she very willingly let me change her with no complaints. I’m sure she would have preferred using a toilet, but hadn’t known how to articulate that.