It’s been awhile.

It’s been some time since I have been here to make an update to our situation.  So many things going on and life happening, I guess.

First, a trip to Japan to visit the kids and grandkids which was great fun and a much-needed diversion.  Marv did just fine while I was gone for three weeks and even though he was glad to see me, didn’t seem to think it had been a long time.

Since returning there have been a bunch of doctor appointments, teeth cleaning, toenail clipping at the podiatrist, and regular check-up with his PC Physician.  All things are good so we have reached a nice plateau and holding steady again for a bit.

A new resident has moved in and she is a great addition.  She is 93 and really a pleasant person.  She apparently had some health issue and must be on oxygen always but she trots around with her long oxygen hose like it was no problem at all.  She will get up from a chair or the couch carefully but then take off at a pretty fast clip.  It reminds me of those little wind up toys.  When I come in, both she and Irene have a lot to talk about with me.  I’m glad they have each other for companionship and mental stimulation.

So it is the Christmas Holidays and I find myself wanting to be more and more with Marv and enjoy this phase of childlike pleasure with everything.  I opened a Dove chocolate recently, the ones that have a little saying on the wrapper, and it said “Give the gift of your time.”  Yesterday, I did just that.  Robin and I took Marv to the mall for shopping but I just hung out with Marv while she got some last-minute things.   We watched the little kids waiting for Santa and in the bookstore.  Marv was delighted with every child and would point them out to me and coo over how cute.  He laughed and we laughed and generally just had a great time.  Without the urgency to find things to purchase, the people and activity, sounds and smells, made for a pretty enjoyable time.

Back at the home, when I laid him down for his nap he wanted me to lay by him.  So I made myself relax and stay there for a bit, enjoying the comfort of him patting my back and repeating over and over, “I love you” as he tried to stay awake to be with me.  Soon he couldn’t keep awake any longer and as he was sound asleep, I slipped away to make the drive back in the snow.

See ya next time.

Happy Birthday to Marv!

What a great day it was Tuesday celebrating Marv’s birthday.  It’s amazing to me that an event like this can bring the residents out of themselves and they all seemed to enjoy the time at the table eating cake.  The husbands of the two other women came for the festivities and added to the nice chatter and attention for Marv.  He has always enjoyed that attention AND cake.

Deni  took the day off from her new job and went with me to see Marv and couldn’t stop hugging and kissing him.  Over and over she told him how much she missed him and was going to come see him more often.  What a fortunate event it was to find her when we truly needed her special brand of caring.

On the way home, I once again started into what I have come to call my “litany of regrets.”  I mentioned to Deni how I wished I had been stronger and able to keep him home and how I should have tried harder to find more help to that end.  She  quickly set me straight to the fact that things are as they should be and had I kept him home he may not be in this delightful phase.  I want the new character at home but that isn’t how he was at home.  I’m glad to be able to voice those things out loud and have someone to help me analyze and sort, to come to agreement that, of course, things are as they should be for all concerned.

On a humorous side note, last week as I was driving home, I was stopped by a train crossing with a bunch of traffic.  I glanced to my left and saw an older lady in the car next to me singing and dancing in her car.  Wow, that’s me, I thought, as I often do sing and dance in the car but not really so publicly and with such lack of caring should any one see.  I rolled my window down to hear what she was listening to and was totally shocked to hear a hip-hoppy pop tune being played full blast.  Something about boys in cars buy us drinks in bars.  Boys, boys, boys!  Too funny and not expected.  I liked it.

See ya next time.

Finally, some smooth sailing.

Changes have been made at the home and things are better already.  Regina and Les have been moved into their own room together at the other end of the house which seems to have made the difference.  Regina is calm and even happy at times.  She doesn’t see me and fly into a rage.  We even sat at the kitchen table together and had a few moments of pleasantness.  So for the moment we will continue with this arrangement while checking out other options to have something to fall back on.

We had a great family get-together last week and I took Marv to my sister’s house where the group were all going to meet.  The food layout was a big hit with Marv and he enjoyed standing at the counter eating fruit and veggies with dip to his heart’s content.  The home is on a very strict diet for the folks and the storage is locked with child locks.  So cupboard grazing is out for Marv.  Once in a while it is fun to watch him enjoy the treat of just eating with abandon.  I don’t believe ever in his life did he just enjoy food like he does now.

We stayed with the family group until about seven o’clock when he started looking very tired and I took him back to the home where once again he settled right in and was content.  I’m so happy that the family and friends continue to include Marv and enjoy his childlike new personality.  It’s great to have such a gracious, considerate, loving family.

See ya next time.

Observations

I was thinking on the way home from visiting Marv yesterday about how small children, when you don’t see them for a few days or even a week, seem to change so rapidly and make noticeable progress.  The reverse is true of the folks in the assisted living home.  In just a few days time the decline in several residents is so fast.

Dee, who broke her hip in the last few weeks and had surgery is no longer chirping away.  Instead she mostly sleeps and to see her sleeping is a bit scary as you can imagine she is not long for this world.

Irene fell into her closet and they had to drag her out all tangled in clothes and belongings.  Then the required trip to the hospital in an ambulance.  Her shoulder is all banged up and will most likely require surgery.

Les and Regina spend a good deal of time sitting out on the deck.  Les stares blankly out into space or at a paper in front of him while Regina yammers away.

Ruth, after the initial contact, has gone back to sleeping.

Shelley has moved to the new home.

Marv is still the most active and he seems happy and content.  When I walked in, he said, “Oh, hi sweetheart.  How did you get here?”  Then he gave me a great big hug and just kept hugging me which was nice.   He always tries to introduce me to the gals and we go through the motions for him.

Monday was the visit with Marv’s brother, Sterling and his family.  Sterling told him several times, “I’m your brother, Sterling.”  Marv would just look confused and shake his head no.  After about three times, Marv looked at him and said, “You know, you look a lot like my brother Sterling.”

We all had a great laugh over that one.  So things are somewhat settled and not too much going on but a nice comfort has been reached, I think.

See ya next time.